Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
Ever been at a crossroads where you question everything? Oh, how I love this place…kidding. I have been at many crossroads and also had growth spurts in my life (unfortunately not one of height!)
I am back here at another crossroad. I have been self-employed for almost a year, I didn’t take the decision lightly, I prayed and thought about it a lot before finally taking a leap of faith – it took me 4 years to actually build up courage. I thought about the risks involved, what implications that may have on my ‘life-style’ and stability financially.
On Monday my contract was put on ‘pause’ – it was my provision for rent, food etc. Thankfully, after a conversation with my client, I asked for feedback and it had nothing to do with my capabilities. They lost a contract from a client which had a domino effect on me. When I found out about their situation last week, I had an inkling that I would be affected but still it’s never easy when it actually happens. I do have a sense of peace about it, I just wish at times, other people would try to understand my story or journey, forgetting that – even me.
Being self-employed takes guts – ask anyone in that situation. I would love to just do any job and be happy in that place – but it’s just not me. It’s soul destroying doing something for money – for many people the 9-5 is great, it pays the bills, they have a social life and are happy with that – I’m not. I want to seek more depth, seek more adventure and yes admittedly many of my choices have bought pain and tears – but they’ve all been worth it during times of growth. I am open to work of any kind and doing God’s will, I have no issue with the mundane tasks as every job has them, but I was called to be self-employed (at least for now).
I know God has a plan, I know he is in control and I also know I’m on the brink of something great and beautiful. As Christian’s we are taught that we should trust God, and for many that can be hard. Initially and in different situations it has been for me but I DO trust him and I have seen the fruits of trusting him. We have to have strength and let our guide, really guide us. Imagine a tour guide he/she knows the place really well, they are showing you the beautiful sights and giving you the history behind where you are – yet you don’t trust them and want to venture out on your own and naturally, this could have good or bad consequences or you might miss something because you are too busy doing it on your own. The guide is there for a reason – just like God. He is there for a reason, to guide us to see the beauty of what he has created and if I keep making my own decisions because that’s what I think is right, then I know I will miss the beauty of what God has created for my eyes to see and also be.
I am not sitting on my sofa hoping God will drop something in my lap, but I am trusting him while making a concerted effort to get my business out there. I have never been great at marketing myself because I am modest with my work, however it’s come to the point only I can do this – with a little help from my friends and family.
So I pray and hope that you will support me with words of encouragement and pushing my website out there 🙂
With love and blessings,