‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11
‘So, have you thought about what you want do next?’
‘You are almost xx, how can you not know what you want to do with your career?’
‘You should be married by now’
‘Do you have any idea of where you want to be?’
‘You should know what you want from life, you are in your 30’s’
How many times are we asked to pigeon hole ourselves? How many times have we been ‘told’ what we should be doing? How many times have we been asked to conform to the worldly ways? I think I have lost count of how many times I have heard the above. Some come from a place of care and love, some from frustration because society expects you to live your life, in their way, as they see fit and others just because it’s something to say. I wish they understood, how paralyzing it is for someone who just doesn’t know.
Right now, I don’t know, it doesn’t mean I won’t know forever.
Everything in life is now, now, now. Think now, act now, do now – but what if I just do not want to? What if I have been doing this my whole life and for the sake of my own sanity, I just want to be kind to myself, to have time to think, really think. To hear Gods’ voice and my own? What if I just want to be still and have time to Stop, Look and Listen. To just embrace God’s power and love.
Stop because I have been on the go for the last 16 years. Stop, so I can re-energise and get back out to the world being fully who God made me to be.
Look because I feel I haven’t always seen the beauty of this world through bright fresh eyes, but rather wet, grey and cold. To be able to view the world with a different perspective of love, hope and joy. To see the smiles on the ones that surround me. To see the beautiful world that God created and many of us miss because of our daily ‘busyness’.
Listen because I want to hear what is right for me, not to be drowned out by the voice of society or what others think is right for me, but to listen to the Holy One. To hear the sounds of the birds, the soft and heavy rain, the laughter of other people, the silence of my own mind, my heartbeat and what surrounds me.
When you cut yourself, you clean it up, put a plaster on and get on with it. After a few days of changing this plaster, you take it off and sometimes you are left with a scar. Whilst you change that plaster, you may be sore and it may bleed again. THAT is how life is except – you cannot just keep changing plasters. You need time to heal, to gain strength and to recover from wounds. Otherwise all we do is, plaster and move on, plaster and move on. Until it suddenly hits you. That’s what messes people up. Stop rushing people, let them enjoy the journey that has been written for them by God and in his time for them.
Let’s just be more supportive of everyone’s individual journey. No one person is the same, respect that and accept that this is the season to do, what they feel compelled to do. It may seem complacent to you, but for them or me in this case, it could be the most important turning point in their lives. I am still working, I have provision for a roof over my head and food on the table – that makes me far ‘richer’ than a lot of people in this world – therefore I am blessed. I am blessed with health, with supportive friends and family, with a great church, with the ability to share, to write and to love – right now that’s all I need.
This is my season, to heal, to just be still in God’s presence and to tie up loose ends. It’s my season to do what I should have done in my 20’s, its my season to stop answering questions and ask my own. It’s my season to mourn and let go of the past. Just because I am saved, it does not mean I am instantly healed, but rather as I am renewed as a Christian, I am going through the healing through prayer, support and blessings.
So be gentle and kind.
Blessings and love,